Stuck to Empowered: Transform Hidden Barriers and Live with Integrity * Part Three

Welcome to the final installment in a three-part series exploring the robust "Immunity to Change" framework with guest blogger Jennie Snyder, a Collective Member.

In this series, she'll share how understanding the hidden barriers that get in our way can transform our capacity to grow and lead authentically. This approach has profoundly shifted her relationship with change, moving her from frustration to empowerment. Join in as we discover why our best intentions so often fall short and, more importantly, how to transcend those invisible barriers.

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In the first and second posts of this series, I shared my wake-up call— stress and exhaustion led me to the ER. I discovered the hidden 'rules' keeping me trapped in workaholic patterns: beliefs that taking time for myself meant I was selfish or worthless. Today, I'll share how I moved from awareness to action, testing these limiting beliefs through small experiments that gradually transformed my relationship with work and self-care. This journey began with deepening my awareness and cultivating curiosity about the rigid 'rules' driving my behavior, then testing their validity through deliberate experiments. If you've ever recognized a pattern that holds you back but felt unsure how to transform it, this post offers a practical pathway forward.

After surfacing our limiting beliefs and core fears, many of us "fixers" feel tempted to jump to solutions immediately. This was my M.O. and through this process, I discovered how sitting with discomfort—rather than rushing past it—creates the space for curiosity and self-compassion. This space opens up choices for us about how to move forward.

Making the invisible visible—bringing our hidden worries, fears, and "rules" into the light—is a powerful first step. Seeing how our beliefs operate to keep us safe offers a glimpse into the wisdom of our immune system. Suddenly, the behaviors that get in our way make perfect sense.

Equipped with this new awareness, I became curious about myself in action. I started noticing those moments when I felt triggered or pulled to respond "yes" to another request or to work through lunch (again). As I shined a light on these reactions, I observed the familiar thoughts swirling in my head ("you're not good enough"; "you're worthless"), the accompanying anxiety, and the physical sensations —tightness in my chest and tension in my shoulders. I could hear the stories I was telling myself: "If you take time for yourself, you are selfish and worthless."

This practice of observing myself in action created vital space. I could pause, notice, and reflect on what was arising. As my reflections deepened, I traced these stories to their origins and recognized how these "rules" had once served me well. Working hard and being known as someone who "got stuff done" brought recognition, promotions, and success. As my awareness expanded, I could also see the costs—the exhaustion, depletion, and feeling of running on an endless treadmill. My health suffered (culminating in that ER visit), and I realized how my behavior affected others when I wasn't present, missed dinners, and arrived home late.

As my self-awareness deepened, the next step in the process was to put my assumptions to the test. Was it really true that taking time for myself and getting exercise meant I was selfish and unproductive? And if so, exactly how true was it? Was it true in every situation?  

Rather than tackling my situation all at once, I started by designing small, safe-to-fail experiments. For example, on one particularly busy day, I decided to step away from my computer, leave the office, and take a walk around the block. Despite the familiar voice in my head warning that I was wasting valuable time, I committed to the experiment.

During this brief walk, I paid careful attention to what happened—both externally and internally. I noticed the warmth of sunlight on my face, the rhythm of my breathing deepening, and the gentle release of tension from my shoulders with each step. The familiar tightness in my chest began to dissolve. After just ten minutes, I returned feeling refreshed with a clearer focus. Contrary to my assumption that this break would derail my productivity, I moved through my afternoon meetings with greater presence. I brought greater creativity to projects.

As I continued testing my “rules,” I designed other experiments. I experimented with a morning routine. Rather than bolting out of bed to check emails, I established a morning routine: rising earlier, taking deep breaths, visualizing a calm day ahead, and walking. Starting with just fifteen minutes, I gradually extended to a half-hour walk. I arrived at the office on time, centered, and able to be more present with my colleagues and clients. The world did not collapse when I took some time for myself and exercised. 

The path from stuck to empowered was not smooth or linear. There were days when deadlines loomed, and I fell back into old patterns—working through lunch, saying yes to every request, putting myself last. But instead of seeing these moments as failures, I viewed them as data points. After extended periods without breaks, my work quality declined as stress and irritability increased. This evidence further challenged my assumption that my busyness did not make me more available for others or more productive.

Looking back at my journey from chest pain in the ER to where I am today, I see that transformation didn't happen overnight. It unfolded through awareness, curiosity, and experimentation. Each step was essential, but it was the willingness to test my assumptions that ultimately moved me from stuck to empowered.

If you've been mapping your immunity to change, I invite you to design your first small experiment:

• What is one small action (taking 5-15 minutes) that would challenge your limiting belief but feel safe enough to try?

• When exactly will you conduct this experiment this week? (Put it in your calendar now)

• What specific evidence will you collect, both external (what happens) and internal (how you feel)?

If a private conversation, in a supportive space, would be helpful as you navigate your way forward, I'd be happy to connect with you - just schedule a time. And if this post reminds you of someone who seems caught in patterns that keep them stuck—despite their genuine efforts to change—consider sharing this with them. Sometimes seeing our challenges reflected in someone else's story provides just the right perspective to begin our own journey forward.

Part One

Part Two

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About the author:

Meet Jennie Snyder.

With 25 years as a leader navigating dynamic organizational systems, I now serve as a Leadership Coach and Facilitator, helping women leaders thrive amid life's complexities with genuine confidence and flexibility. Through years of leading teams, balancing diverse needs, and fostering positive change, I've gained perspective on the common challenges that connect leaders across different fields. I've learned that great leadership means cultivating meaningful connections while creating results that truly align with one's deepest values.

I work with women in demanding careers who seek greater self-awareness and courageous authenticity in their leadership journeys. Leadership isn't just about what you do—it's about staying grounded while becoming your most authentic self. By blending compassionate systems thinking with transformational coaching, I help women connect with their inner wisdom, embrace vulnerability as strength, and create meaningful impact in their organizations and communities.

My journey includes a Doctorate in Educational Leadership from the University of California, Davis, and an Executive Leadership Coaching certificate from Georgetown University's Institute for Transformational Leadership. I've completed advanced training in Compassionate Systems Leadership through MIT's Center for Systems Awareness and am a certified Immunity-to-Change™ facilitator. I'm also qualified to administer and provide feedback using the Leadership Circle Profile™ and MyWorldView™ assessments.

When I'm not coaching, you'll find me at home in Northern California with my wife Vanessa, planning our next adventure, catching live music shows, hitting local hiking trails, hopping on my bike, or curled up with a good book.

Photo by Brigitta Schneiter on Unsplash